Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
