I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
