it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
