Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
