Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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