i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize