Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize