There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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