just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Randomize
