So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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