The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize