I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
