Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
