Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Randomize
