There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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