I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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