You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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