There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
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