just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
