your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
