Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
