"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
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