you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize