you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
i jhust puked up my retainher.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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