When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
