I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
