There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
