Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
it's great music for shaving your balls
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
