So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I think I won the penis lottery.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize