He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
27 People Confess The Worst Jobs Theyâ€™ve Ever Had
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
25 People Confess Their Terrifying Stalker Stories
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I want to fling myself into the sun