the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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