I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
