it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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