He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
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