it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Randomize