Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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