im drinking this country out of the recession.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
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A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
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Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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