Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
