we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
