R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
i think my cat just said my name.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Randomize
