who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
