Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize