that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
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