so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
