Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
It's like God shit irony all over that family
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
