I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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