To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
