Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
