how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
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