I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
