and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
