Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
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