dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
