Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
