so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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