It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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