I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
