the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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