He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
