I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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