he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
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