Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
