sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
