I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
You took a bar mat shot.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
