i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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