i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
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