Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
