3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize