idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Randomize
