The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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