I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Randomize
